“Peez, Ana”

20160226_154919“Peez, Ana”, is what I’ve been hearing all week form my 2 year old son. Ana is his teacher at daycare, and now he’s developed an annoying habit of calling me by her name. Teachers are called mom by their students all the time, I never thought about the other end, where kids call their mom their teacher’s name. Its almost as bad as calling your significant other by someone else’s name. The repercussions wouldn’t be the same ,of course, I can’t retaliate against my son for it, but the hurt and emotions behind feel like they’d be even.

I’ve dealt with similar feelings before. When I went back to work after my 8 week maternity leave and my husband was a “stay at home dad”, I felt like he was closer and preferred him. I was tired from work and wanted to just pass out and go to sleep but I had to find the energy the play with and spend time with the baby or else it would be like I was just the person that paid the bills, nobody special. He was only 2 months old, therefore he’s only had 2 months to get to know me. Having him surgically removed from my body did mean anything to him. I didn’t even feel this intense love immediately after having him. I was in pain and miserable, and for all I knew he was the cause. So how could I expect a baby to know that he was supposed to love and adore only me? It wasn’t like in the back of his mind he was thinking she brought me into this world, I have to show her some love. That realization doesn’t come until later. I was breast feeding at that time, so that did give us a closeness that would not have been there. He is his fathers son, so he defiantly saw me as an important person being that I was his food source. After he turned 1 and he was no longer breastfeeding I looked to other ways to retain that connection. I am always the person who bathes and puts him to bed. That’s our thing. I give him his bath, but on his pjs, read him book or two, and brush his teeth. Then I take him out to kiss daddy night night. I take him to his crib, kiss him, give him the necessary stuffed animals, and its lights out.

Another of our concrete bonding activities is going out on the weekends. We might go to the mall, grocery shopping, or to my sister’s house to hang out and play with his cousins. We usually get a snack, because he loved to eat. Sometimes I take advantage of free samples at Sam’s Club or some give away at Chiptole. If we were at a store I might  let him pick out a  small toy or two. My husband urges these experiences because he remember’s how sad I was when I first when to work and our son treated me like some stranger off the street. He however doesn’t seem to have to put this much work into earning his affections. They’ve been best buds since day one. When we walk through the door after school if his dad isn’t sitting in the living room he look around asking “where mone (what I call him)?”

When I first started taking him to daycare, he’d cry every time I dropped him off, but it did not alter our decision. Going to daycare gives him interaction with his peers. No matter how many books we read, flash cards we play, or online preschool programs we use, it still cannot replace what he learns playing with other kids. I don’t want him to start “real” pre-school and kindergarten with no social skills. I am comfortable with where he’s at. She came highly recommended by close friends and co-workers. He goes to a small, home daycare. She’s super flexible and reliable. She is Hispanic and talks to the kids in Spanish, so if he stays there until pre-k he’ll be bilingual. He already understands phrases and commands she gives. I swear she’s the baby whisperer. Spanish might work for kids, like German does for dogs. I’d hear that dog understand and follow German commands better. Well, she’ll say something in Spanish and he just instantly complies. Ugh, “we loves it, and yet we hates it (in Gollum voice).

He used to cry everyday I dropped him off, now he pushes me out and slams the door. It stings a little in the feels, but I’m also grateful that he is in good hands. I’m glad he has his place where he can play, have fun, and be with people his age. So when he’s asking me for something and says “Peez, Ana”, I think back to those early days when I went back to work and it pushes me to be a better mother. It also lets me know that I’ve made the right choices and he’s with someone who truly is a caregiver for my son. But I still have to find a trump card, so he always knows that MOMMY IS BEST.

Mourning the End of Spring Break

16598797714_bfe1860148_oToday is the last day of spring break. It is a sad day, as I have enjoyed getting some much needed R&R, but alas, we must return to the real world. I never had any grand plans for my spring break, but I still didn’t do half of what I intended. There are somethings I must accomplish today, before I head back to school tomorrow.

I did accomplish some of my spring break plans. One thing my husband and I did was go see Batman vs Superman at 12:30 while my son was still in daycare. The movie had some mixed reviews and I understand why. I am partial to Marvel so my opinion was already biased. The movie started so slow, all the action was in the last 30 minutes of the movie. Also, it was obvious that DC is trying to speed there way to a Justice League movie to compete with The Avengers. The best part of the movie was Wonder Woman. She is one DC character I can get down with. If I was to rate it I would give it 6.5/10. It wasn’t a bad movie, but I did not leave the theater obsessed and head straight to frantically researching as I usually do after a sci-fi movie.

One of my other goals for spring break was to do something memorable with my son. We went on one of our usual shopping trips to the grocery store, but I wanted to do something different. On the list was a visit to Sci-Works, a science museum right up the street from us, as well as indoor camping in our apartment living room. I decided against going to the museum. He is still young, only 2, so the trip could easily have been a waste of money. I did not want to spend money on something he wouldn’t remember and end up going into a typical toddler fit in public. So I opted for indoor camping. I made s’mores in the oven, which he loved and messily devoured. We made a tent from a large comforter draped over our kitchen table chairs. He loved playing under the tent so much that he repeatedly tore it down, so we settled with a pallet on the floor. I wanted to watch some outdoorsy themed Disney movie, but not Bambi, too traumatic. My original choice was Pocahontas, but only the sequel was on Netflix, and I did not want his first experience to be a subpar sequel.  We decided to watch jungle book on DVD. At first we thought it wouldn’t hold his attention. It doesn’t have the bright crisp graphics and comedy that he’s  used to in movies like Home (which we all know by heart). But as soon as he heard the first song he was hooked. We also did the normal Easter tradition of making Easter baskets. I got a dark chocolate dove bunny, my husband a Reese’s Rabbit, and our son a basket with socks, a puzzle, flashcards, Batman plate with utensils, stickers, and a egg with M&Ms. During holidays I bend and we indulge in some of the usual pleasantries.

With all the things we did over spring break there were still some that fell short. I was supposed to revitalize my fitness regiment, that had suffered from me being stressed out and overwhelmed. Instead I decided to just relax and I’d start again when the break was over. It is better to get used to the regiment within my regular schedule anyways, right? My son just turned 2 so, using his birthday money and gift cards we were going to redo his nursery to be a big boy room. This didn’t happen, but we will do it, I swear. I wanted to do some thrifting, but the thrift stores aren’t going anywhere, nor are the farmer’s markets I was supposed to go to. Instead of jam packing this weekend I enjoyed my son and husband, all while sipping on mimosas. I will get everything else done, starting tomorrow.