My Kind of Nerd

Many people hate8795626821_9c50fb2de2_o the kind of nerd I am. I did not grow up reading comics and don’t know all the details,and the issue, of every comic, that every character has appeared. I developed my love of superheros, anime, and other nerdy interest late in life. I guess you could say that I am a late bloomer. I’d love to go back a re-read all the major comics and manga, but my time is limited. I can honestly say that although I’d like to take up reading comic books and manga it’s just not realistic for my daily schedule. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like these things any less. I just have to accept the fact that I’ll never be as knowledgeable as some one who has grown up around these things. I know what I know based on the movies and anime that I watch now and constant research online. Some would argue that I’m not a real fan and that I am cheating. It is what it is. I still like what I like.

That’s not to say that there aren’t certain things that I am not a “expert” on. I’d say I’m VERY well versed in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings because I read and saw the movies for these series many times. These are titles that I read as a child. Since Harry Potter was created during my childhood I read them as they were published. My mother stood in lines to get the books as birthday and Christmas presents. I ordered movie tickets online to ensure that they weren’t sold out. I read each book currently out in the series upon the release of a new title. Even as an adult I’ll read and watch the entire book and movie series within a week, just to find something I may have missed in the past decade and a half. As far as LOTRs, I of course did not read the books when they came out, my parents weren’t even born when they were originally published. I also did not watch the movies originally. Aside from Harry Potter I didn’t really enjoy the fantasy genre until I was an adult. I’m not sure what attracted me to Harry Potter as a child but it was not only “nerdy” interest I had growing up. Even still the original works for these series aren’t on going. Harry Potter has 7 books and 8 movies. Lord of The Rings has 4 books, and 6 movies if you included the Hobbit series. These are numbers I can work with and revisit. Although I am fully aware that there are other movies and books written about these series. Its more manageable than the literally millions of comics and manga I would have to read to be as well versed as I’d like to be. Even with Star Wars there are so many comics, books, and cartoons outside of the movie trilogies that I can’t even being to touch the surface of the details within this franchise.

My sort comings are one of the reasons I started the blog. Help me know all that I need to know. Comment, critique, and advice me of your ways. The more knowledge I have the stronger I can be. I love to engage in arguments and discussions, but find myself unable to because of my lack of knowledge in many areas. Sometimes I get off on the fact that I am black and female to people are amazed that I know the little I do know so I can get by mostly on that. Plus, within the general public I do know more than the average bear. But within the “nerdy community” I am a newbie and many hate the kind of nerd that I am.

Questions about potty training

ID-100164054

 

I have a few things to say about this process called “Potty Training”. I feel like I’m supposed to be the one giving wisdom and advice, but with this I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING! We’ve been introducing it since our son was 21 months and 5 months later he’s kinda sorta showing some signs that it’s starting to catch on. I’ll start with questions, then move on to my own thoughts.

  1. How do these people supposedly do this in 3 days?

I started like this. It was a 3 day weekend, Martin Luther King Day to be exact. I thought we’d be “free at last” from buying and changing diapers. After reading about it on Pinterest we let him walk around commando for the weekend. The only thing we got were puddles and piles all over the apartment, so we decided to do pull-ups. It did make for some adorable pictures that I’ll be using as blackmail later in life.

2. Is using pull-ups counterproductive?

No matter how many times we say, “If you have to pee or poop tell us, so you can go on the potty.” The little star on the from of the pull up ends up blurred. I’ve read that putting them in diapers or pull-ups doesn’t work because if they have something to use, they will. It makes sense, but the pull-ups must work for somebody or else they would still be on the shelves.

3. Did we start too early?

When we started potty training, he was showing some of those signs that the list say, mean he’s ready. While visiting my parents during Christmas break he even brought me his diaper bag when he pooped. I thought that MUST mean he’s ready to learn, but we’re 5 months into this and although he’s making some progress it seems its happening way too slow. Is it happening slow because we’re forcing him into something he’s not ready for?

4. How to respond to or get rid of the extra opinions?

I’m talking about the old school women looking at me funny when my  2 year old that’s the size of a 3-4 year old is still being laid on a changing table. I myself think it looks weird. But I can’t help it because that’s how I was raised. All I hear is how I was walking by 9 months and potty trained before 2. So 2 seemed to be the cut off. Now I’m learning from other “modern” moms that every child learns at their own pace and he’ll do it when he’s ready. Who’s right? Am I missing my son up for life my rushing him too early? or Am I ruining him by not giving him the extra push and firm hand I was given as a child?  I can hear my mom, aunts, and grandma now “That boy is too big for them diapers.” “You need to just put some underwear on his butt.”

5. How should I use incentives?

I’ve tried a couple of things, although not consistently (this is probably my problem). I’ve kind of set up a tier of rewards. He gets a sticker for pee pee and a small toy for pooping. I used to do M&Ms, but I didn’t want to get into the habit of food as rewards. Plus he got really upset when I only gave him a couple at a time. One thing that I always do is say “YAY! You Pee Pee’d in the potty!” And continued the celebration by singing the “Pee Pee in the potty” song, which every mom seems to know. As with most things with kids consistency is key so this is something I have to work on.

6. What do I do about travelling?

This is also where I think we fall apart. It just seems like such a burden carry the potty everywhere and he won’t go near the regular toilet. So when we leave for errands or go out of town potty training kind of takes a back burner. I’ve just got to get that breastfeeding mindset back again and get used to the inconveniences for the sake of my son. Sure I hated either having to find somewhere to pump or stopping to nurse, but it was necessary. So is this if any of the training is going to stick.

My Thoughts:

I have had some success with the training. When we started it only took him a couple days to actually “go” in the potty. What we’re working on is getting the point that he will tell us he has to go. I’d say within the past month he has started to tell us he has to pee, sometimes he actually does and others he doesn’t. But, I’ve let him know that if he says “pee, pee” he’s sitting on the potty so he better say it when he means it. He’s only pooped in the potty twice, and I’m pretty sure it was by accident. He’s gotten up while I was cooking and went in his room to go number 2 so its safe to say that he doesn’t want to do it in the potty. He will, however, tell us he has to poop after he’s done it. Now its just getting him to say it before and get it in the freaking pot! I worry that I’m doing things wrong. As with all the child milestones I want to make sure he’s on track and really my competitive side wants him to be ahead of the curve. I did the same for walking and I’m working on his talking. Once again, this is how I was raised. My mom taught me to read before I was in school. I learned most things quickly and excelled, so it’s only natural to want the same for my son. What I am learning is that I have to take my own experiences, knowledge, and my sons individual traits and come up with what’s best for him. Hopefully some determination and reinforcement of expectations will get him in the right direction.  If you’ve been through this please let me know your thoughts. If your going through it right now share your story as well.

 

Is colored hair natural?

M&RT1i 018 (3)

I went natural December 16th, 2011. It was the day before my 22nd birthday. I had intended to transition and slowly cut the relaxed hair out, but I got impatient and decided to do the BIG CHOP. I wanted to go natural because it seemed like the healthiest thing for my hair. I was on a quest to make my body the healthiest it could be….from my head to my toes. Before I went natural I had relatively long hair, for a black girl. So my hair dresser was not happy when I was prepared to cut 10 inches of hair off. I was getting my hair done by her while I was transitioning, but maybe she didn’t believe I’d actually do it. But, as you can see, I did. I went back to get a roller set in my hair for Easter that following March or April whenever the heck Easter was that year. On that day she convinced me to get my hair permanently dyed red.

I’m not sure if she had motives other than just wanting to introduce me to a cool new look. Part of me feels like she wanted to keep me as a consistent client, because since going natural I had not been making my regular 6-8 week appointments. I can’t blame her though, its good business to try and keep customers. I thought the red looked really good on me. It was a dark, kind of burgundy red. I probably wouldn’t have liked my short afro as much without that brilliant color. It never dawned on me that I was doing anything out of sorts until one day I saw a Facebook status from a friend that said “how you gonna be natural and dye your hair, doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” This person was also natural, so I began thinking “I’m a natural hair sell out?”

I continued to get my hair dyed red for 2 years. I had always been the type to not judge others, so I was making my own decision for what I wanted for my hair and that was to keep it red. I LOVED the red look, especially after one of my colleagues said it made me look like a superhero ( I’m thinking Jean Grey or Black Widow)! I even got my eyebrows lightened a little so it didn’t look so obvious that they were different colors, although I didn’t go red all the way with them. It wasn’t until after I had my son that I decided not to color my hair anymore. I got my hair dyed for my Superhero Wedding (that I will highlight in another post), but I did not tell my hair dresser that I was pregnant. There is a theory that the chemicals in the dye can seep into your scalp, and then body,
harming the baby. After some research I deduced that it was just a myth, but I didn’t want to risk telling my hair dresser and her not put in my superhero red color. It seems kind of silly that I’d even risk something like that. If there was a question for the baby’s safety I should have just not done it, but that just shows how vain our society is. I could not have brown roots at my wedding. After that I did not dye my hair the entire pregnancy. After I had my son I decided to go completely natural and not add any chemicals at all to my hair. I slowly cut my ends each month and in about a year I cut the rest of the color out of my hair. So now it is my natural brown color.

Does being natural mean that you have NO chemicals in your hair? Or is it just, not having a relaxer? What about people that get texturizers? Its kind of like when people question what it means to be a virgin. I guess it something you have to decide for yourself. Why did you decide to take the journey to become natural? Was is it purely a decision for cosmetics and you just like the look of your curly hair texture? Or,is it part of an all-natural lifestyle? People will always have their opinions about natural hair. Even within the natural hair community there is some judgement. I just try to be comfortable and work what I’ve got and hope that others do the same.